The Ghosts of Resolutions Past

So that time is nearly upon us once again. You know what I mean. Where we size up our lives and decide what's broken and needs to be fixed. We make these decisions to change and call them resolutions. To date, I'm unsure if I've ever kept one of these resolutions, but I highly doubt it. Still I go forward each year with all the hope and faith that THIS year will be different. What's on the agenda for this year? Okay, the big one is something I'm sure many will be working on. Smoking. Yes, that good old asphyxia that drives me to drag on those lighted little sticks of tobacco. For those of you who have never smoked, the drive to do so may seem like some kind of insanity (and indeed it is), but the withdrawal is full-fledged looney tunes sometimes. If anyone wants a peek into the psyche of the smoker in withdrawal, take in the first few pages of Norman Mailer's "Tough Guys Don't Dance". He succeeds where I fail to encapsulate this phenomenon.

Anyway, my lady doesn't smoke so I'm hoping that will have a positive effect on me as I attempt this little endeavor of will over chemical habit. Everyone else ... steer clear, I'm a complete shit when I'm without my smokes.

The parking lot at Barnes & Noble has been insane all fucking week! I'd swear it's busier this week than before Christmas. It's days like today when I'd like to trade in the F-150 for a nice little Hyundai or something. The parking lots and spaces in this state seem to be extra short and slim, which you wouldn't expect considering every soccor mom out there is driving an insanely over-sized SUV of one type or another. Here's hoping that after this weekend things will slow down a bit.

Discussed the second draft today and came up with the idea that the second draft of Online should be done in some place much slower paced than the Cafe, perhaps a library. A little more room to work and a lot more silence. The first draft always seems so feverishly paced and the Cafe's environment is well suited to it. The recreation that I need for the second draft requires the exact opposite.

Chapter Thirteen - "Bomber"
Sex scenes are always fun. Sometimes they leave me thinking of alternate words for things that appear harsh in print, but for the most part they're fun and sexy. It's especially nice when it's the characters' first time together. Of course when it was all over I had to throw in a dash of spookiness, but hey, that's just me. :)

Today's Word Count: 1,210
Page Count: 247
Total Word Count: 54,400

Those Who Can't, Criticize

The remainder of last night went beautifully. I'm a very lucky man. A little dinner, a little wine, a little conversation. I couldn't ask for more.

Today's writing went very well. The words came lightning quick (perhaps stored up from yesterday, when I had to drag them out kicking and screaming) and with great character. It seems whenever I put Brendan and Chapman together, everything just fits. They're dialogue between one another is fresh and real; a sweet sensation.

From time to time I find a few critics (I name them so because I know that is what they aspire to be) pop up and excuse themselves of good character by denouncing another. Over the years I've been privy to a great many criticisms, it comes with the territory. The one thing I've learned however, is those who provide true criticism are of a class of artist that wishes you success; all the greatness they themselves have reached, or more correctly, attempt to reach, since no true artist believes he has arrived at greatness. These people achieve nothing by cutting into your character. Instead, they attempt to show you how you might reach a better result in your dialogue or character building, how you might in fact make a "better" book. There is of course another type of passing critic. This person (who more often than not hides behind the veil of anonymousness (yes, that's a word :))) defines himself as a brash know-it-all who feels compelled to detract from another, that which he is too terrified to do himself. Strange, isn't it? They claim to know the world of writing, though you never see their books in print. More often than not, they are pounding away on the same manuscript for twenty years, attempting to define the perfect prose for their Great American Novel. A manuscript that some relative will find in the bottom of some junk chest, sealed away in the attic long after the writer's demise. Or better yet, it will be a collection of rank and sterile poetry that was simply "too beautiful" to be released to the world, as the people could never understand the angst of its author.

I have an understanding of people that I like to share. You see, in this world, the exclusively rich folk are by and large very kind and understanding people. The middle managers of the world, those that only aspire to that kind of wealth are the true pricks. They're the ones ordering the expensive champaigne and refuse to travel anywhere if a limo is not provided. In the art of writing, it is much the same way, I'm afraid. The true authors, people who work they're asses off writing and preparing their work for release are the kindest, warmest and most regarding people. The ones who only play at it, the one's who ego cannot survive the cold, harsh cruelty of their peers and thus,never produce a publishable manuscript, are the true pricks.

Either way, I know who I am. I don't fluff the words of this journal and I'm at least honest to myself. I post my word count because I've set forth a goal of 1,000 words a day for the first draft (also considered the "rough" draft) and because certain people I know (other inspiring authors some of them) like to see the manuscript grow. The quality of the words I write is up to my fans to denote, and it is they I trust and believe in. Enough said.

I'm off to eat dinner (a terrific looking stew that's been in the crock pot all day) and to hang out with my lady.

Chapter Thirteen - "Bomber"
For a switch, Brendan is visiting Chapman in the hospital ... but of course you'll have to wait to read the book to find out why he's there. ;)

Today's Word Count: 1,019
Page Count: 243
Total Word Count: 53,190

Making Your Bones

<>I'm writing this one from the Barnes & Noble cafe. It would seem that lately It's been too much to sit down with the journal before bed, so rather than miss it altogether, I'll do it early. <>

Today's writing was strange, both my lady and I kept striving for the 1,000 word mark, but it seemed to avoid us both. :) Some days writing is a lot like work. She said, "When I go back and read this first draft, I wonder what I'm going to think about this part that I'm writing now." I said, "You'll remember that you were just trying to make your words for that day." Sometimes that's just how writing goes. Each sentence stalls, sputters, and finally spits itself out, but there's no love or excitement. It's just there to fill the empty spaces. And then there's the days when it flows like rainwater from a gutter; nearly endless and cool and rich with tang. <>

I'm glad I'm back on a daily schedule with this though. Although I wonder if the style of this book with inevitably please me, it's nice to create every day, even if I'm just making my words. <>Sometime this week I've got to have a serious conversation with Dave and Samantha to discuss the preparations for SheVaCon. There's the feeling of optimism from a lot of folks that this convention will open a lot of doors for me. I remain safely non-committal. :)

Chapter Thirteen - "Bomber"

Chapter Twelve - "Malice" was finished today. Strangely, after having to re-write it from yesterday's debacle, I forgot an important piece off the ending. I did a little re-thinking and will have this section added to Chapter Thirteen. It makes more sense that way anyhow. Isn't it strange how mistakes sometimes turn things out for the better? This new chapter is important in that Brendan begins to realize that the impossible might in fact be occurring. The book gears up here as we grow closer to the final showdown (Part IV).

Today's Word Count: 1,152
Page Count: 238
Total Word Count: 52,171

Post Christmas FATAL ERROR

Just a quick update here. (I'll be trying to keep this journal up to date a little more consistently.)

Though I haven't been keeping the journal up to date, I have been doing some writing. The holidays can be a real pain in the ass when it comes to the schedule keeping.

And just a little vent here -- I wrote over 1,100 words yesterday and got a fatal error on the Dana. Lost them all! That sucked out loud. I have to be fair though, I'm pretty sure I know what caused it AND it's never happened before. I managed to re-write about 500 words worth before I ran out of steam. :) I also could have lost the entire Chapter Twelve but fortunately it kept my last save point.

Chapter Twelve-"Malice"
My villain is gaining her strength and is starting to show it in dispicable ways.

Page Count: 233
Total Word Count: 51,019

No Rest For The Wicked

These are busy days. Big party Saturday night. We've been working toward this for weeks and of course there's still a ton of last minute stuff that needs to get done (isn't there always?).

A quick in and out today at the Cafe. Less than a thousand words ... which doesn't bode well with me. :) I think I've been spoiled by my recent surge in productivity. Feeling kind of sluggish this evening. Too drowsy to feel like getting anything done, too awake (just slightly) to feel comfortable just calling it a night.

I doubt there'll be any writing tomorrow, but the plan is to hit the Cafe early Saturday morning and get some work done before finalizing the house for the party. That day begins the new chapter and this is where my villain gets her second go round at causing trouble.

Chapter Eleven - "Confirmation"
This chapter was finished tonight. Brendan had a very up and down day, which ended in a not-so-nice way. Chapter Twelve is where the second part of the book really begins to gear up.

Today's Word Count: 799
Page Count: 219
Total Word Count: 48,158

Abrasions and the Art of Insensitivity

What happens when you put two oversensitive people together? Usually you have a good time of things. Occasionally though, you both walk away with the feeling of you skin having been rubbed raw. It's odd, because you desperately want to stay close together, but every time you speak, the wrong things come sliding out ... and the harder you try, the worse it gets. Now, knowing me, you would think this has me all on edge ... strangely thought, it doesn't. I just have this sense that tomorrow is a new day, and that's a sense I can live with.

It's a magical night outside! It's December 7th and I can go outside without a coat. Actually, I'd be uncomfortable wearing one. There's just the slightest hint of a breeze and if you watch carefully, you'll see small groups of clouds sliding gently by. I had to fight the urge to go for a walk (it is after all, nearly midnight) and it's the kind of evening you feel your inner self pressing toward the surface ... as though you could shed your human skin and go running around on all fours. Beautiful.

We both wrote over 1,600 words tonight, which is nothing short of amazing. I love the feeling of working beside someone, it's rewarding on many levels.

Chapter Eleven-"Confirmation"
I'm finding quite a bit of joy in the fact that some chapters come out much longer than they first appear. This is one of those. There's a lot of good dialogue in this one, which I'm learning to enjoy, it seems I'm telling a good deal of this particular book in that manner. Chapman and Brendan are growing closer by the chapter and it's surprising because Chapman originally didn't have that much of a role in this book. Once again, he's proving me wrong. I love the old guy! I think I'd like to see a story involving him when he was younger. Maybe I'll work on that someday. Anyway, this chapter should be wrapping up no later than Thursday, which brings us to Chapter Twelve, and all Hell starts breaking loose.

Today's Word Count: 1,681
Page Count: 216
Total Word Count: 47, 359

Mushy Chrysalis

My gal's a writer. Have I mentioned that before? She's ordered herself a Dana to write on, which is pretty cool. She sat with me today at the B&N cafe and wrote alongside me. It was a good experience. She got there a little later than me, so I didn't want to interrupt her time by finishing too early. That pushed me through at least two spots where I would have stopped if she hadn't been there. Over 2,000 words ... ain't a damned thing wrong with that! ;)

So, I thought the front of the house was too dark and wanted to liven it up some. You see, the inside lights are like the core of the fuckin' sun! But outside is a little lackluster. So I said, we need something to brighten it up. She asked if I was sure there was room. I of course said there was plenty of room, and if not, I'll pay for the lighted sign myself. So we got this "Merry Christmas" lighted sign in cursive. I completely forgot that there is a tree growing up the side of the house and so I got that one wrong completely (now I solely own a Merry Christmas sign in lighted cursive). So we put it up tonight UNDER the stupid window instead of along the wall. Now, I want to know what Jackhole (her word, not mine) decided this was an acceptable product. It looks like it reads: Mushy Chrysalis. Ah well, it's staying on sheer principal alone now! I'll probably loose the great Milano debate too (long story ... don't ask!).

Looks like I'll be at a few major Sci-Fi/Fantasy conventions as well as a couple of huge pagan festivals this year (way to go Sam!). I wonder how these communities will take to my work? It will be exciting to do the signings and sales there. I'll let you know more as I get the details myself.

Going to be a busy week. I've dug myself in for writing every day and we've got to get the house ready for the party this weekend. Should be an interesting week to be sure. :) Mike stopped by unexpectedly tonight. Haven't seen him in forever. He and Dave ended up out for drinks ... I'd have liked to have gone ... but my stomach's been bitchy lately. Maybe I'm starting to feel my age. Hmmmm.

Chapter Eleven-"Confirmation"
Chapter Ten, "Respite" was finally finished today. It wasn't the greatest chapter for me ... a little too slow. I thought maybe I was grinding down, but by going to the Cafe, I seemed to have found my spark again. Guess I'll have to sit there growing chubby on frappacinos, at least until this book is done. :) Chapter Eleven has started nicely. In fact, I'm thinking I'm about halfway through it. Should be done by tomorrow or Wednesday.

If I don't speak with any of you before hand, have a Mushy Chrysalis!

Today's Word Count: 2,200
Page Count: 208
Total Word Count: 45,678